Quote of the Day - September 11, 2008

Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying.

- The Joker, Dark Knight

A Very Dark Knight Indeed

Okay, so I gave in. Avoid spoilers. AVOID THEM, I SAY! Know only that the Joker is truly psychotic and the children should be left at home. The "kabooms!" are plentiful and impressive. The fighting is decent. The chase sequences are better and serve the plot this time. But it's the psychological element (and a bit of CGI) that provides the most disturbing moments. I didn't check the time once - quite an achievement for a 2 and a half hour film. I really was on the edge of my seat.

Let's do it again next week!

Procrastinating in Houston

I'm supposed to be doing a homework assignment involving sextant measurements, writing a book report, and writing a trip report, all while I'm here in Houston on business. I've had more downtime than I had expected, so I was able to get some rest yesterday (much needed, since I managed to read about five pages of my book one the 3 hour plane ride down here). After setting up some equipment for a test next week, extracting a bit of information from the locals for my trip report (check it out! work's actually helping my schoolwork for a change!), and catching up on e-mail, I sequestered myself in my internet-free hotel room and started reading my book in earnest.

Hours later, I've made it through only one British Territory out of eleven discussed in the book. And the writing style is getting into my head, so you'll forgive any superfluous adjectives and wistful sentences that pad my post.

Deciding that I needed a break and would really prefer not to have to sit in the lobby to access the internet, I headed for the front desk and told them again that my hardline connection was not working in my room (wireless is only available in the lobby). It seems the fact that the brand new cable they gave me yesterday didn't work never resulted in a maintenance request and, oh, look, the guy who would fix it already left and won't be back until Monday. Ummm... I used my best patience and kept my voice at a low tremble (as opposed to the loud bark that's come out of my mouth much too often lately) when insisting that I had reported the problem and the failure of all attempts to address it short of calling maintenance the day before. Yesterday, they were too booked to give me a new room. But today, they had a room down the hall on the same floor. And then, randomly, as one person was getting me new room keys, another was grabbing a goody bag for me. A bottle of water. A can of Sprite that had obviously been stored in a hot place at some point in its life. A bag of jalapeño chips. Microwave popcorn. Some Nabisco products with absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. And a handful of chocolate coins. The "sorry for the inconvenience" chocolates were added on top by the woman getting my key.
And I just got a call offering me a free movie. Should I ask them to tap the bulge out of the bottom of my Sprite can? It looks a bit precarious sitting on the desk like that.



So, obviously, I'm procrastinating at this point. Taking pictures of tilting Sprite cans can't be a good sign. I don't really look forward to wasting a weekend in Houston on homework. I still hope to bust out at least half of both reports tonight (since when does anyone actually read a book when doing a book report anyway...), sleep in tomorrow, and catch some sights. There's a certain movie coming out this weekend, but tickets are probably sold out from here to eternity. I might hold off on watching it until next... next w... next we- no, no! I'll have to avoid the internets for a week if I do that! Spoilers everywhere!

But if I go see it, I'll want to stop by the Lego store to pick up the Tumbler, which is the only one of the more recent sets I don't have yet. And then I won't have room for real souvenirs.

(But ticket prices are probably way cheaper here than in D.C.)

But I've never been to Texas. I need to get out.

(The sun does eventually set. Not as much to see in the dark.)

Yes, and that's when homework is best done. When I'm busy having insomnia.

(Batman.)

But...

(Versus Zombie Joker)

Perhaps the parenthetical voice and I need to have another chat.

(You're a freak. Just like me!)

I think we're done here.

Dark Knight Trailer

I hear the latest trailer for the sequel to Batman Begins is playing in front of Will Smith's I Am Legend, but I haven't been to a movie in months, so I just watched it online. The Joker looks like a freakin' zombie (but who wouldn't after falling into a vat of acid?). I think I'm more and more on board with Heath Ledger as the Joker. He's got the tonal switch down. "[sinister] Everyone thinks you're freak... [cheery] Like me!" But what does it say about me that my biggest "squee!" moment was upon seeing Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox again?

Qute of the Day - August 28, 2007

So you fell in a tank of acid, got your skin bleached and decided to become a supervillain. What? You couldn't get a job as a rodeo clown?

- Terry McGinnis (as Batman) to The Joker

Doom, Destiny, and the Dangers of Being Easily Amused

Doom is a funny word. It has a very negative meaning, but its meaning is also so over the top (a horrible fate from which there is no escape) that it circles back around to being absurd. You rarely hear the word being used in a serious context. It is often used in epic stories (particularly fantasy stories) in which the fate of the world or the universe is at stake, so “doom” may actually be appropriate to the situation. Reporters sometimes employ the word to be extra dramatic, but all reporters sell these days is doom and gloom, so they have little credibility on the matter. The 24-hour news stations could save everyone a bunch of time by stating at the top of each hour “We’re all doomed. The world is doomed. Humanity is doomed. Society is doomed. You are doomed. To find out why and what you can’t do about it, stay tuned. Otherwise, go about your lives, blissfully ignorant of your horrible fate.”

In every day life, however, “doom” is filled with comedic possibility (see above satirical snippet). It can be added to any phrase to make it both frightening and hilarious. For example, a rainbow is not particularly threatening nor is it necessarily humorous. But a “rainbow of doom”, or better yet “Rainbow of Doom” confuses the brain and can result in spontaneous convulsions resembling laughter (unless you are Noah, in which case you might think of this). When amusing yourself or your easily amused friends, any mundane item can be given this treatment (see Invader Zim for liberal application of this idea).

In fact, the phrase “of doom” should be implied every time something mundane is mentioned in the news, in a television show, or in a movie. Obviously, if it’s being brought up, it’s actually something very important. Why is shampoo being mentioned on the nightly news? Because it’s Shampoo of Doom! Why were so many people on Battlestar Galactica obsessing over a song only a few of them could hear? Because it was a Song of Doom! (Not to be confused with the “Doom Song”) The stapler in Office Space? That’s right! Stapler of Doom!

But not everything fits the “doom” label. Sometimes, adding “of doom” can negatively change how an event or object is perceived. For instance, when the media reports on a routine space shuttle launch, adding “of doom” can be… well, bad. In these situations, adding “of destiny” can be more appropriate. Max’s bar code? Bar Code of Destiny! The stethoscope in Batman Begins? Stethoscope of Destiny!

(For the record, it’s the Red Pill of Destiny and the Blue Pill of Doom.)

So the next time you find yourself wondering why something random has received such prominent attention, just remember: if people are talking about it, it MUST be important. The “of doom” and/or “of destiny” are implied. You just have to figure out which one applies. Things will make more sense after that. Or you’ll be momentarily amused. That works too.