Quote of the Day - August 20, 2005

There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor.

- Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Just 373 pages to go.

In-Flight Movie Nightmare

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Puddlejumper Airlines. Our flight from New York to Sydney will be 20 hours and 28 minutes. Our in flight movies will be Red Eye and Alive, followed by that episode of the Twilight Zone. You know the one. After that, you will be able to watch the news. Blind folds and ear plugs are available for $10 a piece. Thank you, and have a nice flight.

Venn Diagram Rejection

What do you do when a guy just won't take no for an answer? Draw him a picture.

Bleeping Bleeper!

I have been scolded for my aversion to swearing on my own blog! And not an aversion to other people swearing. I never tell other people to watch their mouths (unless we’re around children). I just prefer not to swear myself. There have been a couple of posts on other blogs lately about swearing and why some people still react negatively to something that has become much more common place. Volokh has a few theories as to why expletives and profanity are so offensive. Dean seems to think that those who ask him not to swear are the ones who are being offensive (which… what?).

So why don’t I swear? Swearing tends to be aggressive (which is part of what makes it funny in the context of a joke, just like violence. Yay violence!). It’s generally used to convey frustration if not anger. And I am not an aggressive person. I get frustrated, sure. And I love to complain (have I mentioned that my parents made me a sweatshirt that says “Born to suffer, love to whine?”). I am stubborn and persistent. But I am not confrontational. I choose my battles carefully. And words are weapons, some of which must be wielded more sparingly than others. So I don’t swear casually. It just means that when you do hear those words coming from my mouth, there is no question about my state of mind. I am not playing. I am not frustrated. I am not fed up. I am not upset. I am infuriated. Though when I get to that point, I usually just shut up so I don’t say something that I’ll regret. And I have frightened people with my silent, seething anger (my co-workers didn’t talk to me for a whole day after that meeting…), though probably more because it is in great contrast to my usual “mostly harmless obsessive paranoid” self. Think about it, those of you who know me in Real Life. Can you see me cussing someone out? Are you laughing? I hear you laughing!

Now, to Dean’s other assertion: does my personal choice to use certain words on incredibly rare occasions make me “better” than people who use those words more regularly? I don’t know. Does the fact that I carry two pocket-knives with me at all times (and sometimes a third) and the fact that you don’t make you better than me? Knives are weapons, yet I carry two Leatherman Micras in my pocket wherever I go (one is "special"). And a full-size Leatherman resides in my purse when it’s not too heavy from other junk. I find non-aggressive uses for knives, which others may consider weapons. Other people find non-aggressive reasons for using words that I only use when I’m very, very angry. So who’s better? *ca-click* Think very carefully about your answer.

Quote of the Day - August 18, 2005

Bender: (mumbling in his sleep) Kill all humans. Must... kill all humans.
Fry: Bender! Bender, wake up!
Bender: What? Oh, hey, I was having the greatest dream! I think you were in it.

- Futurama, "I, Roommate"

Donald Trump Victims Take Note

If you are eligible for this site, you can try this site.

All Glory to the Hypnotoad!

You will do his bidding!

Quote of the Day - August 17, 2005

I've done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive. Buried alive.

- Kahn, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn

You all know what comes next.

Quotable quotes

Well, obviously, I like quotes. People are listing their favourite movie quotes over at Dean's World. Princess Bride is, of course, being quoted left and right. I spotted Monty Python, Galaxy Quest, Army of Darkness, Ghostbusters, Die Hard, and The Last Starfighter among the uncredited quotes. But there were some I simply couldn't place. There were quite a few I couldn't place, actually. Obviously, I haven't seen enough movies in my life. Note to self: Resist urge to rectify that situation; instead, get out more.

They Couldn't See This Coming?

Used laptop! Only $50! I wonder if there'll be any takers? How could they not realize that selling something, even used, at 5% of it's original cost will attract massive numbers of people? And $50 is pretty darn affordable.

When I heard this story on the radio today, the announcer pronounced Henrico as "En-REE-co" (it's suppose to be Hen-RYE-co). Hehe. It's not Spanish, dear. Are central Virginia place names really that hard to pronounce? Powhatan. Powhite. Henrico. Non-natives never seem to get it right (though even locals seem to disagree on "Powhite").

Intelligent Politics

satire

The Democratic National Committee came out today in favor of a new theory known as “Intelligent Politics”. A spokesman for the committee, William A. Blunt, said “We believe that Intelligent Politics deserves equal time in the Washington with conservativism. We believe that conservativism is flawed and that other ideas about public policy should be discussed and explored. Conservativism has many flaws which prevent it from solving the problems that are important to the people of this country. Intelligent Politics is merely an alternative to conservativism that we feel should be considered equally.”

When asked to clarify what Intelligent Politics had to offer, Blunt replied that “Intelligent Politics merely posits that there are better solutions out there than the ones conservatives have come up with. If those alternatives happen to be liberal, then so be it.

“Clearly, conservatives have failed to save Social Security, there are problems in Iraq, and energy costs are rising rapidly which is having an adverse effect on an economy that is still struggling to recover. Conservativism has failed to work here. There must be another way.”

Blunt was asked what other ways there could be. “Vote Democrat. Put us back in charge and we’ll make it all better.”

How? “By not being conservative, of course. Obviously, that’s not working too well for the Republicans. We must engage in Intelligent Politics.”

Fran Weiss of the Podunk Ledger asked about the difference between “Intelligent Politics” and “Liberalism”? “Well, it could be progressive. Or libertarian. It’s just not conservative.”

Asked for examples of Intelligent Politics, Blunt insisted Social Security should not be privatized and that the U.S. should not have invaded Iraq.

Edgar Warren of the City Tribune asked what alternative ideas Intelligent Politics had on these subjects. “Just don’t do it the way the Republicans are trying to do it. Don’t privatize Social Security. Don’t support the war Iraq – but still support the soldiers. You always have to support the soldiers. If the Republicans are doing it, do something else. Because conservativism is flawed, so there must be another way. And that way, I believe, is Intelligent Politics.”

Quote of the Day - August 15, 2005

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

Joseph Wood Krutch

Walking the Cat

On Friday, I heard someone use the analogy "it's like walking a cat." I said "you don't walk a cat." So what do I see in Silver Spring on Saturday? Someone trying to walk a cat. And when I say they were trying, I don't mean the cat was trying to get away or was refusing to move (as Ringer did whenever I put him on a leash). I mean the owner was forced to pick up and carry the cat because the poor thing was panting in the 100+ degree heat index temperatures (panting cats look freaky by the way. They look kind of like they're hissing except that it's silent and they don't close their mouth. They just kind of move their tongue back and forth. *shiver*). Diana will pant in these temperatures just sitting on the deck. And cats aren't really designed for long walks. They're meant to sprint short distances or sit still for extended periods of time. Even when Mark, the Great White Hunter would follow us on walks on cool days, he would pant. And meow. As if he were telling us to slow down. He'd generally give up after about a quarter mile. So, yeah, even if the cat if willing to go for a walk - not generally a good idea.