Thursday, January 13, 2005

Random Quote of the Day - January 13, 2005

Dom Portwood: Hello, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.

Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.

Dom Portword: Yeah, did you get that memo?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. The problem is, I just forgot this one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even a problem anymore.

Dom Portwood: Yeah. It's just that we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could just remember to do that from now on, that's be great. Alright!

- Office Space

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Random Quote of the Day - January 12, 2005

Good? Bad? I'm the one with the gun.

-Ash in Army of Darkness

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Attack Cat

Random Quote of the Day - January 11, 2004

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Hearing Assisted Cats

I was looking over the benefits package for my new job today. The flexible spending account (a new benefit that is cropping up a lot of places that’s useful for those of us who have relatively predictable medical expenses) listed some of the things that you are allowed to be reimbursed for. While I am familiar with the concept of a seeing-eye dog, I have never heard of a hearing assisted cat. I did a google search, but only found sites either about therapeutic cats (usually to keep older people company) or cats that are hearing impaired themselves (like my Siamese almost certainly is). So I have to wonder what a hearing cat would do exactly. I’m imagining the cat constantly sitting in a person’s lap or rubbing against their legs as they walk. Every time the cat hears a loud noise, it scampers away, thus leaving it’s human to ponder what has startled the poor thing. Either that, or the cat would have to become unusually attached to the human, running to it for protection every time it heard a sound.

Now, I must say, cats do make excellent alarm clocks. They will be fed the same time everyday. And unlike a programmable alarm clock, they will figure out what wakes you up. Meowing doesn’t work? How about knocking things off of furniture? No? Maybe a little eye massage. Or maybe the looming presence standing by your pillow will be enough to pull you from your slumber. (Trust me, that is a freaky way to wake up). So if getting up in the morning is the only thing standing between you and living a full life, a cat will serve you well. And it may be covered under flexible spending accounts.

You know, I’ve been having trouble hearing lately…

Monday, January 10, 2005

Random Quote of the Day - January 10, 2005

King Arthur:

You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight is mine.
The Black Knight:

Oh, had enough, aye?
King Arthur:

Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
The Black Knight:

Yes I have.
King Arthur:

The Black Knight:

Just a flesh wound.

- The Black Knight and King Arthur in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

And there was much rejoicing...

According to Scifidaily, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is now a Broadway musical called Spamalot starring Tim Curry as King Arthur. Well, it will be a Broadway musical starting in February, but they're already showing it in Chicago. There's an express train from D.C. to N.Y., right? Maybe I'll have enough vacation acruded by August....

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Random Quote of the Day - January 9, 2005

If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

-Winston Zeddemore in Ghostbusters