Congress Files for Moral Bankruptcy

Today, Congress announced that it was filing for moral bankruptcy, citing a recent series of illegal and/or ethically questionable acts that has left it with a massive debt of explanations, apologies, and acts of contrition.

As a result of the bankruptcy, an as-yet-undetermined number of Congressmen and Senators will lose their jobs. This is the most serious threat of layoffs since the mid 90’s.

In addition to the bankruptcy, Republicans are also being sued for breech of contract by the American people. It is not yet clear how the bankruptcy filing with affect the lawsuit. However, it is possible that the bankruptcy will shield Congressional Republicans, leaving other Republicans around the country to feel the brunt of the lawsuit.

Other effects of the bankruptcy include an internal investigation, a cut in the President’s allowance, and a flurry of advertisements and press conferences insisting that they will change their ways.

Quote of the Day - October 6, 2006

What are you going to do? Take away my birthday?

Quote of the Day - October 1, 2006

One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broadminded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. ... The major problem is quite simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveller's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you for instance how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. ... Most readers get as far as the Future Semi-Conditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up: and in fact in later editions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.

- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy