Saturday, March 11, 2006

Do You Have That in a Combo?

"Baseball's Best Burger" consists of a hamburger patty with cheese and bacon between two halves of a Krispy Kreme Donut. I figure if you get that with a side of chili-cheese fries and a chocolate milk shake to drink, your last meal would be complete.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

How did I get here?

That "do not drive or operate machinery" label doesn't do any good. Doesn't the FDA know you can't read in your sleep?

Monday, March 06, 2006

Quote of the Day - March 6, 2006

Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impresssions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

- Jack Handy

The Real Simpsons

Ever wonder what the Simpsons might look like with real people? Check it out.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

And the Award Goes To...

John Stewart did wonderfully hosting the Oscars this year. At least in the beginning. I didn't bother with the actual awards. I don't think I saw any of the movies nominated this year. But the good news is, I didn't see any of the movies nominated for a Razzie this year either. There was a string of years there where it seemed I always managed to see the Razzie winner (Battlefield Earth, anyone?) Congrats to TomKat for winning "Most Tiresome Tabloid Targets". Notice that Tom was nominated twice in that category.

I Need New Kneecaps

Because my current ones aren't doing their job. Instead of protecting my knees in a fall, they simply jump out of the way to avoid injury themselves, leaving the joint the take the brunt of the blow. My left kneecap, in particular, has done a horrible job of protecting my knee, allowing three rather badly bruising injuries in under a year. I think I need to replace them with something larger - something that encompasses the entire joint and flexes with it. They're doing amazing things with plastics these days. Maybe I should ask Torg and Riff where they got theirs.

Quote of the Day - March 5, 2006

There are women here who could barely afford enough gown to cover their breasts.

- John Stewart, at the Oscars