Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Sentence Launched into Hyperbolic Orbit

MSNBC changed this article so that one sentence no longer describes the space shuttle as "hurling" toward the the space station. Which... darn, there goes half my rant. Stupid editors, spoiling my fun. At least someone over there realized that the Canadarm is not throwing rocks at the ISS in rebellion (or, depending on what kind of rendezvous you mean, throwing pebbles at the window to get their attention). Anyway, it still says the space shuttle "hurtled toward a Thursday morning rendezvous with the space station." Hurtled? "Hurtled" implies a certain lack of control. Why couldn't they use "sailed" or "coasted" or some other, less panic-inducing word? We must make it exciting! Dramatic! You must not feel one ounce of relief after a successful launch, or one smidgen of peace up here in space. Reflection is for monks. You want to think about something? Think about the aliens that could be hiding just around the corner! (What corn-) Silence! Do you hear that? (There's no sound in-) It could be Them! (Who's them?) Quick! To the escape hatch! Major Tom to ground control, I'm stepping through the door. Tell my wife I love her very much. (Houston, we have a problem. This is Ripley, signing off.)


Anonymous John said...

Them was good.
- John

7/06/2006 10:49 AM  

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