Bush Learns What a Veto Is

Bush: I don't understand, Dick. Every time I threaten to veto a bill, Congress passes it anyway. Why won't they listen to me?

Cheney: Maybe it's because you've never actually vetoed anything.

Bush: What about all those notes I wrote telling the executive branch to ignore parts of laws that I didn't like?

Cheney: That's not a veto. That's a signing statement. With the signing statement, you tell the executive branch how to enforce a law that you signed. With a veto, you refuse to sign a bill into law and tell Congress to shove it.

Bush: So, wait, I prevent a law from even being put on the books and used against me by the courts?

Cheney: Exactly.

Bush: That's better than a signing statement! What's the catch? It's not unconstitutional, is it? People seem to throw that word at me a lot.

Cheney: No, actually, it's specificially spelled out in the constitution that you can do it. However...

Bush: I knew it! There's a catch!

Cheney: 2/3 of Congress needs to vote to pass the bill anyway. But when's the last time 2/3 of Congress agreed on anything?

Bush: Whew! You had me scared there, buddy. I think I'll try this veto thing.