Thursday, May 19, 2005

Dispersing the Government

Evidently, the Pentagon is moving some jobs out of the D.C. area to disperse the U.S.’s military facilities and make them less vulnerable to attack. I say, it doesn’t go far enough. As the plane incident last week demonstrated, all three branches of the government could be shut down my one incident in Washington D.C. I say, create two more capitals. That will give us three capitals, giving each branch their own capital.

The executive branch can stay in D.C. Many of the government’s agencies fall under the executive branch, so the fewest facilities would have to move if the executive branch stayed in D.C. FBI, CIA, IRS, the Pentagon, all that stuff would get to stay here. Plus, most of those organizations have branches all over the country, so you might be able to take their heads, but the wriggling parts would still be around to try to fight back.

The legislative branch, which has people who come from all over the country, should be in a more central location. It also has the most VIPs to protect, so it should probably be somewhere in Wyoming where they can build a nice bunker deep in a mountain underneath or near the new Capitol building for Congress to quickly evacuate to in case of attack.

The Supreme Court is harder. They don’t really need to be centrally located, since they don’t have any constituents they have to go visit on a hopefully regular basis. You probably don’t want to put them in a city that is a target for other reasons, like New York or Los Angeles. You know what, just to make all those lawyers miserable, lets put them in Alaska. Whether or not the Supreme Court’s capital is put there, lets put the lawyers in Alaska.


Anonymous Walt said...

Don't sully the last true "frontier" state in the Union! Base the lawyers around Yucca Mountain.

5/20/2005 4:27 PM  
Blogger SpakKadi said...

Wait, wait. Doesn't the U.S. own some uninhabitable islands? Let's put them their. The last thing we need is mutant lawyers.

5/20/2005 5:28 PM  

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