Rantings of a Space Cadet

Bring Back the (Real) Filibuster

2009-12-17T21:10:00.001-05:00

It's getting pretty bad in the Senate these days. The Republicans threatened to filibuster the decision to serve tuna sandwiches and salad for lunch yesterday, so the Democrats caved in and offered to drop the salad and serve potato salad instead. Okay, not really. But the Republicans did try to filibuster a spending bill, just to hold up debate on the health care bill.

Now, I understand that the health care bill is causing much heartburn in Washington these days. But I'm not here to argue for or against its many provisions and the forests of trees that are killed every time someone prints it out (not today, anyway). I'm simply frustrated with the filibuster.

When the Republicans were in charge, they didn't need a supermajority to get anything done. I guess the Democrats didn't have the guts to send a note to the Senate leaders saying "You know, I feel like filibustering this, as do 40 of my closest colleagues. Feel free to focus on other matters." The Republicans, however, are not shy about it. This is not a partisan issue. It's just the Republicans has taken an oft unused power and revealed just how powerful it is.

The filibuster was not always like this. Prior to the 1960's, someone actually had to stand in front of the Senate and talk and hold up ALL business (not just the specific bill they were opposing). This means that a Senator had to feel so strongly about something that he was willing to hold up all bills to stop some legislation from being passed. But now we have a system that allows other Senate business to continue and other bills to be passed, even while a particular bill is being filibustered. This appears to be the result of efforts by Senators from the south to block the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

This confuses me. In filibustering the Civil Rights act, they prevented Congress from getting anything else done. So the Senators who wouldn't necessarily vote for the bill but still wanted to move on with the business of being a legislator were likely to vote to end the filibuster. Now, ending a filibuster is almost equivalent to voting on the bill, except you need 60 instead of 50 votes.

It would seem that this would be good, because Congress passing fewer laws isn't always a bad thing. But think about it. There is already a ton of pork in bills because the people who wrote it want to convince this person or that person to vote for it. That's just to get to the majority needed to pass a bill under normal circumstances. But watching this health care bill get passed, I realized it's that much worse! Now you essentially have to convince 10 more people to vote for a bill. So you drop this, add that, change this, until even the best bill ever written costs more, accomplishes less, and frustrates everyone.

Why Can't I Just E-Mail My Doctor?

2009-12-16T22:30:00.003-05:00

I'm sick of doctors. I've been sick of doctors for a long time, but I'm at a particular low right now. For the zero of you who don't know, I've been suffering from hives since the end of July. My doctors have run zero tests to uncover the root cause, unless you count the blood test my primary care physician ran to see if I had an underlying infection when I complained of stomach pain (turns out I did, but it wasn't the root cause of the hives and it wasn't caught by the blood test). I don't want to visit specialists, one by one, as the back story for this little saga becomes more and more convoluted. I'm going to the dermatologist tomorrow, and I have a 3 page timeline, with an executive summary, a list of medicines I'm currently taking, a list of medications I've taken since just before this all started, and a list of current symptoms (as opposed to the ones that I had at one point, but don't anymore). The dermatologist is doctor #4, after PCP, allergist, and gastrointestinal doctor. I've also seen an acupuncturist because the "real" doctors weren't helping. That didn't help, either.

They say the cost of medical care is so high because doctors run too many tests. Where? Who? Point me that way! If my doctors are just going to dismiss my symptoms entirely or pump me full of drugs, I don't see why I have to go in to see them at all. Can't I just e-mail them with a list of symptoms to selectively ignore (does not compute, deleting from memory) or treat (I think there's a drug for that one; let's prescribe it!)? If they aren't going to run a test and my symptoms aren't necessarily present while I'm at the doctor's office (stupid erratic problems!), I'm not really sure why I have to be present. And with e-mail, if the doctor is baffled, he can just forward it to the next doctor, instead of forwarding ME to the next doctor. Screw HIPPA. All it does is create more forms for me to fill out and put up more barriers between my doctors.

I wonder if a flexible spending account would cover the cost of an annual fee for a concierge doctor.

The Outsiders

2009-11-22T21:14:00.005-05:00

I found this article today while reading, of all things, a "Flash Forward" recap on Television Without Pity. It talks about the ability of highly intelligent people to adapt socially. It's from 1987, but I think it still holds true. At least from my own observations. Then this evening, I ended up talking with a friend of mine from college and his wife about raising their four-year-old daughter. She is apparently quite bright and has started acting out in class. Their theory - she's bored in school. So now my friend's wife is trying to tap into the experiences of him and his friends to try to understand her situation and deal with it as best they can, particularly when it comes to interfacing with the school about her needs.

"The Outsiders" identifies four key adjustment problems that gifted people experience throughout their lives.

"One of the problems faced by all gifted persons is learning to focus their efforts for prolonged periods of time. Since so much comes easily to them, they may never acquire the self-discipline necessary to use their gifts to the fullest."

I find that many highly intelligent people also tend to be lazy, mainly because they can get away with it. If I can daydream in class 90% of the time and still get an "A" in class, why try harder to pay attention? The problem comes when they are faced with a challenge that actually, well, challenges them. Those who are used to being challenged by the world around them know that it may take a few tries to succeed at something, and so they keep trying until they get it. Those who are used to succeeding with little effort are perplexed and frustrated by things that do not come easily because they have been spoiled by their own brains into thinking everything should be easy, so they may give up long before finding out what they are truly capable of.

"A second adjustment problem faced by all gifted persons is [that] ... [s]o far from being one-sided in ability and interest, they are typically capable of so many different kinds of success that they may have difficulty in confining themselves to a reasonable number of enterprises. Some of them are lost to usefulness through spreading their available time and energy over such a wide array of projects that nothing can be finished or done perfectly."

I thought about this one for a while and realized that I am somewhat guilty here, too, especially in the last few years when I have been perfectly guilty of over-extending myself at times. I think that this is more often a problem for those who, faced without a challenge, seek one out... only to find twenty, all of which look interesting. These people may never stand out in a particular area, even though they may be capable of doing so, because there simply are not enough hours in the day.

"A third problem faced by the gifted is learning to suffer fools gladly...

A lesson which many gifted persons never learn as long as they live is that human beings in general are inherently very different from themselves in thought, in action, in general intention, and in interests."

I grew up perfectly aware of the fact that I was not like other people, so I never expect people to see things the way that I do. I am more often surprised when they DO see things the way I do. As such, I do my best to listen to other people's ideas, if for no other reason than to give myself some insight into how they see the world. But there are plenty of people who never reach that awareness, and even those who do may still have trouble relating to "normal" people.

This blog post on "Clever Sillies", which discusses social adaptations of highly intelligent people in a slightly different manner, is perhaps most relevant to this part of "The Outsiders" article.

"The single greatest adjustment problem faced by the gifted, however, is their tendency to become isolated from the rest of humanity."

The section that starts with this sentence hit so close to home that I felt like I had an arrow in my chest. I had to wait until college to find a group of people I could converse with and relate to in a real and meaningful way. And even then, it took me a while to figure out how to be a social animal. I'm still learning.

The article then goes on to discuss how the difference in IQ between an individual and those around them can make a difference in how the individual adapts to their environment. Smart people who are surrounded by other smart people adapt socially to their environment better than smart people who are surrounded by average people. Here, though, I would refer back to the "Clever Sillies" article, which suggests that if high IQ people spend too much time around each other, their world view can become very skewed. I would prefer a mixed exposure, since that's what you get in the real world. But the key, I think, is to make sure that a smart person has enough smart people around to keep themselves intellectually stimulated and motivated to meet their potential.

Stargate Universe Episode Names

2009-11-20T00:15:00.003-05:00

The episode titles for Stargate Universe have so far been one, elemental word: Air, Darkness, Light, Water, Earth, Time, and the next one will apparently be Life. So I've taken to guessing the name of the next episode based purely on pattern. After "Water", I figured we'd get "Land" (we got "Earth"). I wanted the next to be "Space" or "Sky", but they went for "Time" (seriously, we're 8 hours into the series and they're already resorting to time travel?). I don't know, though. I think the last episode should have been called "Death" (and if you're not satisfied with an off-screen resolution or want to know if both past-future kinos were found by the crew of Destiny, watch this). At some point, they're going to need "Food". I suppose the third-time's-a-charm results of "Time" mean they aren't out of antibiotics yet, but they might start to worry about "Health" soon enough. Turn "Health" into "Heart" and you've got all of the elements for Captain "Planet", which of course would orbit a "Star". "Light" could just as well have been called "Fire", but that episode name is still an open possibility. If they decide to get a little mystical, they can go with "Spirit". And since they're flying on the "Destiny", the season's last episode can be called "Fate."

Lego Sorting Evolution

2009-11-20T00:02:00.002-05:00

I found a rather hilarious generic timeline of the evolution of a Lego collection, or, more specifically, the organization of the Lego collection as said collection grows. I laughed so hard at number 15 that I had to stop reading for a minute. Just that afternoon I had been in Wal-Mart, grumbling about how Rubbermaid's quality had gone downhill in the last few years. I'm kind of at step 13 with my Legos at the moment. If only I had known the Silverdome was going to be so cheap, I could have skipped straight to step 24.

Tilting at Windmills

2009-10-09T18:44:00.003-04:00

Yeah, yeah, someone already took that headline. But if you haven't heard this story yet (and even if you have), watch the Daily Show interview of this guy who built a windmill in his backyard in Malawi when he was fourteen when his family was too poor to send him to school. My favorite part is when he describes his introduction to Google after coming to America.

Peep Nightmares and Daylight Savings Time

2009-03-09T21:05:00.003-04:00

I could not sleep last night (surprise). This was bad for three reasons. 1) The beginning of Daylight Savings Time was already robbing me of an hour of my day, inevitably carved out of the "sleeping" part. 2) I had an 8 am meeting this morning, which meant super-extra-no-sleeping-in pressure. 3) I had my midterm in my class tonight. I avoided caffeine yesterday and even attempted to go to bed at 10 pm. At 11:30, I was very much not asleep or even close to being asleep, so I got up and surfed the web for a bit.

The Washington Post is having it's annual Peeps Diorama Contest. Someone made me throw out all of my candy that was more than two holidays (or was it two years?) old, so alas, I have no Halloween Peeps with which to build a Kitten themed diorama. But I did spend a bit of my sleepless time looking at entries from last year.

So when I finally got to sleep, what did I dream about? Peeps. Peeps taking over people and trying to eat me. Just how am I suppose to sleep when my brain thinks something as harmless as a Peep is out to get me? I can see the t-shirt now: Can't sleep. Peeps will eat me.

Bad Day, Part 2

2009-01-21T23:47:00.004-05:00

Why? Why am I paying money for services that don't support me when I need them? Why do I pay for a locked garage that lets people break into my car anyway? Why do I pay such high rent to a place that has no actual security and a front desk that can't answer basic questions or provide basic assistance in an emergency to residents? Why do I pay for insurance that uses a new math to turn my $250 deductible in to $420+ out of pocket expenses (and I'm not done replacing what was stolen)? Why do people try to rip me off?

It turns out that my stolen back-pack and said contents are not covered by my auto insurance. Instead, they are covered by my renter's insurance (which is with the same company). I also decided to get my windshield replaced (since it's had a crack all the way across for a while now) while I was getting my driver's side window repaired. For those keeping track at home, that's three claims in one day, two of which were for the same incident. None of the associates I talked to today reminded me that each claim had it's own deductible. So instead of this mess costing me $250, it could have potentially cost me $750 dollars. The insurance company will pay me absolutely nothing, especially since my backpack theft is so conveniently covered by a different policy and therefore doesn't bring the cost of the incident above my deductible, which is effectively $500 for the incident (I'm kind of pissed about the windshield, too, because if I'd realized the deductible was per claim instead of per year like it is with health insurance - way to be consistent with terminology, insurance industry - I wouldn't have bothered. But I was honest about it being a separate incident. Honesty is costly).

On top of that, the glass repair center I went to wanted to charge me the full deductible for both glass repairs, despite the fact that each repair cost less than the deductible. I refused. He dumped the claim forms in the trash. I paid the actual cost, which was still more than my cost would have been had it been covered by a single claim.

I called my insurance agent to ask why my insurance costs me so freakin' much if it doesn't actually, you know, help me. Turns out, I was only saving $14 a month by having a deductible. You better believe my deductible is now zero. I reduced other things to bring down my cost, but I'm still paying a ludicrous amount. I refuse to go through this B.S. again. It will now take me fifteen years to pay the insurance company as much money as I lost on this.

The windshield and the window I can almost understand (though it still makes me angry). But why on earth does a single incident require two separate claims? The bag was not stolen from my apartment. It was stolen from my car.

And now I'll have the two insurance agents who read this telling me why this is all a perfectly legal shell game.

So tell me: does the fact that I made three claims that will pay me nothing still count against my premium? Because I don't feel like getting robbed again just because I did what I thought I was supposed to do. Being punished for being a good person is starting to wear a little thin.

Incompetence!

2009-01-21T12:08:00.004-05:00

So, my Dad forwarded me an e-mail about the horrors of keeping a GPS in your car - i.e., making yourself a target for criminals who can then use said GPS to find your home and steal even more stuff. I think such tales severely over-estimate the intelligence of criminals.

Case in point: I got to my car this morning to find my driver's side door smashed. I had a car charger plugged into my cigarette lighter, but nothing plugged into the charger. The moron who broke in ripped the charger out of the lighter (but left it behind), couldn't figure out how to open my center console and so only found a tire gauge and some AAA batteries in the top layer, didn't even bother looking in the glove compartment as far as I could tell (the GPS wasn't in there, either. Just the mount. It would take someone many, many valuable minutes to find where I hid that thing. It was still where I put it.), and - in hopes of getting something for all his hard work - stole my 15-year-old backpack where I keep my basketball shoes (size 3 1/2) and football gloves (children's small). There was also an X-Files long-sleeve shirt in there, but I have two of those anyway. I'm sure he'll have plenty of use for those things. If he's eight. :P Moron.

Oh, but the fun does not stop there, friends! No, no. I went to the front desk of my apartment and told them what happened. The guy at the desk (who's wearing a badge labeled "Security") just kind of shrugged and blinked at me like "what do you want me to do?" So I called 911, then asked the guy at the desk if there was a vacuum cleaner I could use to clean out my car or if he knew a number I could call to get it fixed. Again, shrug and blink. Frustrated, I went back upstairs to take care of police and insurance reports. When the police officer asked me if there was security at my apartment, I laughed and cried. My insurance put me on a call back list, so I went back downstairs to ask AGAIN for a vacuum cleaner, because surely maintenance has something, right?

The guy at the front desk was not happy to see me. He looked about ready to yell at me, then thought better of it and instead said something about everybody has their job and he's just security. That set me off. "Yes, you're security, and I'm telling you that my car has been broken into but you act like you don't give s#!$." Yes, I said the word. Out loud. With a raised voice. I pay $50 a month to park in a locked garage to prevent just this sort of thing from happening, and I pay a hefty rent that goes toward paying this guy to sit at the front desk. I've worked those sorts of jobs. I know it's not exciting and I don't envy dealing with unhappy customers. But I had been calm up to that point and, it seems to me, reasonable in my expectations of help of SOME kind. Your job, dude, is to help the people who live here. Never mind that the word "Security" on your shirt implies that you should have some interest when a resident experiences a breach of security. You shouldn't hear someone say "my car got broken into" and act like they just said it's cold outside.

Anyway, he disappeared into the back and came out with the head of maintenance, who was considerably more helpful. He even gave me a cushion to sit on so that I could drive my car the short distance required to get within reach of their shop vac. My car is now cleaner than it has been in months. I now have a plastic bag for a window. Hopefully, I can get that taken care of this afternoon and still have time to buy new basketball shoes before practice tonight.

But if you see anyone wearing a small pair of blue and white basketball shoes and carrying an old black backpack, let me know.

Quote of the Day - January 9, 2009

2009-01-09T23:04:00.002-05:00

Holographic Squad Car Detective sat in his prism cell, reflecting on his predicament.

CGF Becomes Heifer International?

2008-12-22T13:10:00.003-05:00

The Christian Goat Fund was a joke that Jody masterminded in college. (I have to wonder if the "2000: Year of the Goat" chalking is still visible on a column outside Litton-Reaves. It was when I graduated in 2002). Last week, I got a mailing for Heifer International. This is an actual organization that allows you to buy animals for people in poor countries, with the intention of making families self-sufficient rather than simply giving them food from day to day. There's even a YouTube video about it based on "The Llama Song" by Burton Earny. It even has a decent rating on Charity Navigator. So, if you've ever wanted to buy a llama but don't want the hassle of actually taking care of it, now is your chance! And if the llama is too expensive, you can always buy a duck instead.

And remember: Heifer International decreases World Suck.

Grocery Store Bags

2008-12-04T19:18:00.003-05:00

I appreciate grocery stores' efforts to provide customers with reusable bags (even thought they are late to the game, since Ukrop's started doing this over 20 years ago, back when "reduce, reuse, recycle" hadn't been reduced to "recycle"). My apartment quickly fills with plastic bags from various establishments, and I simply do not produce enough waste to use them all up as cheap trash bags. So bags that save me from suffocating in a pile of plastic are fine by me.

The problem, however, is that the baggers seem to think that because the bags are more sturdy than a plastic or paper bag, they must therefore be capable of supporting infinite weight. They stuff edible items, heavy and light, into my bags until there is room for nary a candy bar, with no mind to the strength of either the stitching in the bag or the customer before them.

If one places items that would have taken up three plastic bags that I would have easily carried in one hand, you have saved my fingers from the task of gripping six handles. But if the weight is such that I must use both arms for one bag, aside from the fact that it makes it more obvious that I need to start lifting weights, chances are that my reusable bag will become simply... used. I have already split one seam in a bag all the way. Another has a hole that will grow should I every burden it will more than fruit. A dollar a bag is not a deal if it falls apart after three uses.

So, dear baggers, something to remember. Space capacity is not the same as weight capacity. Also, they're reusable. You don't have to conserve them by minimizing the number used. Have pity on my weak little arms!

Palin in the Straw

2008-11-20T23:45:00.004-05:00

This video is so incredibly surreal. Sarah Palin is being interviewed by a reporter (after pardoning a turkey) while a guy slaughters turkeys in the background. But the most hilariously incongruous portion of the interview starts at 1:49 and goes through to the end. She talks about needing a little levity in her job, especially given all of the criticism she's gotten. Then she laughs that she'll probably get criticized for doing this, too. As a man covered in turkey blood, struggling with a dying turkey, stares creepily into the camera from the background.

Quote of the Day - November 18, 2008

2008-11-18T20:50:00.002-05:00

Babies that don't cry don't get fed.

- a coworker, on asking for a raise/promotion

Quote of the Day - November 16, 2008

2008-11-16T12:06:00.000-05:00

We're teachers on sabbatical... and we just won the lottery.

- James Bond, Quantum of Solice

So, the primaries should be starting soon...

2008-11-07T03:30:00.003-05:00

Okay, this is totally a cheat (i.e., I have no new material). But I was rummaging through my blog when I found this post about just how far states were willing to go to be early in the primary season. Little did they know, the later primaries would ACTUALLY matter this year!

Quote of the Day - November 5, 2008

2008-11-05T18:11:00.003-05:00

Laura and I called to congratulate you and your good bride.

- George W. Bush in his call to Barack Obama after he was declared the President-elect

Election Day

2008-11-04T00:06:00.000-05:00

Hmmm. There was something I was supposed to do today... There's not enough clothes in the basket for a load of laundry... There aren't enough dishes in the dishwasher to run it... My apartment is cleaner than it has been in a while... I'm not allowed to start my new Lego set until I get webmethods working for my class project... Huh. I can't seem to remember. There's a bunch of people in the lobby of my apartment building, waiting to use some temporary ATM machines. Maybe I'll ask them what I'm suppose to do today.

Quote of the Day - October 30, 2008

2008-10-30T09:39:00.000-04:00

Numismatists for Obama
Change we can believe in.

- seen in the comments on Achenblog

4x7

2008-10-29T09:40:00.001-04:00

Has it been a year already?

Movie Karaoke?

2008-10-13T23:37:00.003-04:00

I'm watching The Princess Bride right now, reciting the lines along with the characters. (yes, I'm a geek. Blah. Blah.) It makes me wonder if there is such a thing as movie karaoke where you and your friends recite the lines of a movie or even just a scene in a movie the way you would sing the lyrics of a song. I think it could be entertaining. Can you recite the Sicilian's logic from start to finish? How about the witch trial in Monthy Python's Holy Grail? The two Bobs interviewing Peter in Office Space? How about the exchange between Kirk and Kahn that ends with Kirk's echoed cries or Spock's death scene in Star Trek II?

Apocalyptic Grab Bag and Other Random Nonsense

2008-10-09T18:52:00.003-04:00

Is the world over yet? I finally have time to see what's going on outside my bubble, and I find the financial markets collapsing, Tom Brokaw totally treating two sitting Senators like bickering children, my bank getting fought over like Solomon's baby, Nebraska turning into a dumping ground for unwanted children, Iraq and Afghanistan nearly vanishing as a campaign issue, the Republicans supporting bad investments by the government to make up for bad investments by companies and individuals, the Democrats suddenly looking like the party that's good for business, John Stewart practically losing it on the Daily Show when the President said Congress was off for Rosh Hashana, a female version of George W. Bush running for the co-Presidency of the United States, the words "maverick", "change", and "hope" potentially turning into the leading causes of alcohol poisoning in this country, the biggest news story directly relevant to my life being demoted to the news scroll (probably right next to the story of the child who killed a bunch of animals in a zoo), the National Debt Clock running out of digits, the aftermath of Ike strangely disappearing from the news cycle, gas shortages in the southeast, the Dow Jones down 39.4% from its peak just one year ago for an absolute point loss of 5700, Virginia possibly going blue for the first time since 1964, and.... now I'm exhausted. Maybe I should crawl back into my black hole. This world is scary.

Quote of the Day - October 6, 2008

2008-10-06T22:47:00.001-04:00

Okay, Robin, make it work.

- My professor during class

The Last Hotel Room in Houston, Texas

2008-09-30T01:07:00.003-04:00

I'm having a wonderful day. The news is exciting, to say the least. Most of the reasons I came to Houston evaporated before I had even gotten to the airport. And, on top of a bureaucratic mess that nearly took away another reason for being here, my hotel did not have a room for me. No rooms! Apparently, my reservation shouldn't have been possible to make. I called my travel agency, and they told me the entire city of Houston was booked.

Well, after half an hour, they found one room. For tonight only. Apparently, I'm back to not having a room tomorrow night. So here it is: the last hotel room in Houston.

Ninja Cat!

2008-09-27T21:04:00.004-04:00

A long time ago, in a childhood far away, I remember watching Mark and Ringer (my two cats at the time) stalking the same squirrel. Ringer was a social cat, not too concerned with developing his skills as a hunter. Mark, on the other hand, loved hunting. We put TWO bells on him, and he still managed to bring critters home. Watching the two of them, you could immediately tell just how much better a hunter Mark was. Whenever the squirrel looked away, Ringer would scurry forward until the squirrel turned back, like they were playing a silent game of Red Light/Green Light. Mark, on the other hand, would lift his foot. So when I saw Ninja Cat, I thought of him.

Quote of the Day - September 17, 2008

2008-09-17T19:54:00.001-04:00

You are violating my territorial bubble!

- Dammers, The Frighteners

Tina or Sarah?

2008-09-16T19:07:00.003-04:00

Okay, so the resemblance between Tina Fey and Sarah Palin was pretty obvious from the get go, but Tina Fey's impression of the Republican V.P. candidate was, well, impressive. Quick! Which is which!

Fish Net?

2008-09-16T00:34:00.002-04:00

If you think you're having a bad day... (picture courtesy of CNN because MSNBC refused to make theirs linkable. So :P).

Quote of the Day - September 13, 2008

2008-09-13T11:43:00.001-04:00

Doesn't Matter!

- Ask-a-Ninja: Most Fatal Thing

Putting Things in Perspective

2008-09-12T21:26:00.003-04:00

I am inclined to agree with the Ninja that Doesn't Matter is extremely dangerous. So when something makes me miserable, I'll just image myself being catapulted into the middle of Antarctica... and then curl up on the couch with a warm blanket.

Quote of the Day - September 12, 2008

2008-09-12T02:25:00.003-04:00

Ninjas, we study with great masters to become awesome. Crazy people study mirrors to try and find a way out.

- Ask-a-Ninja Question 76: Ninja vs Crazy People

Quote of the Day - September 11, 2008

2008-09-11T19:58:00.002-04:00

Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying.

- The Joker, Dark Knight

Center of Neutrality Becomes Center of Gravity

2008-09-10T22:45:00.004-04:00

Geneva, Switzerland - long known as a haven for Neutrals - today became the center of Earth's gravity when a cult of young scientists led by the notorious Stephen Hawking turned on the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in an attempt to find God, which their cult believes is actually a particle. Tragically, their attempt at unraveling the mysteries of the universe instead lead to the unraveling of the actual universe when the LHC generated several micro black holes. These micro black holes merged to become one mini black hole, which was nonetheless strong enough to shift the center of Earth's gravity close to the LHC itself. One scientist is currently attempting to shut down the experiment, but his hand is at least an inch away from the button and, since time is now passing much slower in Geneva than it is in the United States, it will be January here before he finishes pressing it.

In the mean time, the Italian government has gone on a high state of alert, fearing the black hole's well known appetite for spaghetti may cause it to cross into their territory in search of food.

Please check back at increasingly smaller intervals if you are closer to Geneva than me or increasingly larger intervals if you are further from Geneva than me to get the latest information as this story unfolds.

Quote of the Day - September 10, 2008

2008-09-10T02:17:00.003-04:00

Ninjas can slow down their heartbeat and their breathing to appear dead. Crazy people can count to bunny rabbit using made up numbers.

- Ask-a-Ninja Question 76: Ninja vs Crazy People

Quote of the Day - September 9, 2008

2008-09-09T02:11:00.000-04:00

Ninjas assassinate dangerous and evil creatures. Crazy people assassinate dinner rolls that look at them wrong.

- Ask-a-Ninja Question 76: Ninja vs Crazy People

What's the Plan?

2008-09-08T22:31:00.004-04:00

Things have (amazingly) slowed down at work the last couple of weeks. I'm down to doing three things at once, none of which have hard and fast deadlines. I turned off my alarm clock last week and let my body settle into it's natural rhythm, giving my mind and body a chance to resync and enter some sense of routine. Between that, a good round of Sunday basketball, and the beginning of flag football season, I've had my first "normal" week in a very long time.

With things settling down, a coworker with less experience than me but a similar dislike of sitting idle has taken to calling me every day and asking a crucial question: what's the plan? I understand her frustration. I'm a planner. I like plans. They give me a sense of security. A sense of purpose. Even if the plan it to do nothing, I'm fine. So long as that's the plan. Otherwise, I get antsy because I feel like I'm missing something.

But now that my coworker has come to me several days in a row with this question, I feel like I need some more creative responses. I've already told her that one day, she's going to find an envelope on her desk. On it will be written "The Plan". Now I just need to think of what to put in the envelope. Here's what I've come up with so far:

Blank paper
A picture of FEMA's disaster plan
A copy of the Underpants Gnomes' plan
A copy of the Mayor's to-do list
A lengthy tax-form like document that says "burn after completing" on the last page.
A floorplan

See?! See what I'm doing? I'm planning a mockery of plans. It's ironic. Or sad. I forget which.

Quote of the Day - September 8, 2008

2008-09-08T02:07:00.001-04:00

Ninjas have the stamina to fight furiously for days and days and days. Crazy people have the stamina to argue with a piece of macaroni for a year.

- Ask-a-Ninja Question 76: Ninja vs Crazy People

Quote of the Day - September 7, 2008

2008-09-07T01:59:00.002-04:00

Ninjas are great at not being seen. Crazy people are great at seeing things that aren't there.

- Ask-a-Ninja Question 76: Ninja vs Crazy People

Live from the Sunshine State: Hours and Hours of Rain

2008-08-19T11:41:00.003-04:00

The rain really is following me, you know that? Here I am in Cocoa Beach on business. Kennedy Space Center is shut down, so I've been in my hotel room all day watching Tropical Storm Fey whip the trees around. We're getting hit by the squall lines on the outer bands of the system. The storm is due to pass right over my head tonight, although I'm hearing now that the storm has stalled. Goody. That means flooding, which could also mean the roads out of here could get blocked. I just hope it's not another Gaston. I wonder if heading to Orlando very early in the morning would do me any good, or if I should wait until the afternoon? My flight out is around 8:30 pm tomorrow. And downtown Disney has the Lego Imagination Center. Hmmm. I may need another suitcase...

Quote of the Day - August 9, 2008

2008-08-09T21:47:00.001-04:00

Maybe if we all stop bathing, the water bill will go down.

- a piece of paper taped to the wall in the stairwell of my apartment building

A Very Dark Knight Indeed

2008-07-21T01:33:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I gave in. Avoid spoilers. AVOID THEM, I SAY! Know only that the Joker is truly psychotic and the children should be left at home. The "kabooms!" are plentiful and impressive. The fighting is decent. The chase sequences are better and serve the plot this time. But it's the psychological element (and a bit of CGI) that provides the most disturbing moments. I didn't check the time once - quite an achievement for a 2 and a half hour film. I really was on the edge of my seat.

Let's do it again next week!

Is That Suppose to be on Fire?

2008-07-19T23:29:00.004-04:00

So, I finished my book report and made a bunch of notes on my trip report, so I rewarded myself with a spontaneous drive to Galveston. I took the "scenic" route, which passed a LOT of power lines and a couple of power plants. At one point, I noticed flames coming out of the top of a tower at a power plant (or did it have something to do with oil?). Unfortunately, I had my camera set to low resolution, so it's hard to see, but it's right in the center of the picture. When I drove back later, the fire was out. So... is it suppose to do that?

Quote of the Day - July 19, 2008

2008-07-19T18:42:00.001-04:00

...[t]he Pentagon wisely decided not to pick a fight with the tortoise lobby.

- Simon Winchester, Outposts

Procrastinating in Houston

2008-07-18T18:47:00.005-04:00

I'm supposed to be doing a homework assignment involving sextant measurements, writing a book report, and writing a trip report, all while I'm here in Houston on business. I've had more downtime than I had expected, so I was able to get some rest yesterday (much needed, since I managed to read about five pages of my book one the 3 hour plane ride down here). After setting up some equipment for a test next week, extracting a bit of information from the locals for my trip report (check it out! work's actually helping my schoolwork for a change!), and catching up on e-mail, I sequestered myself in my internet-free hotel room and started reading my book in earnest.

Hours later, I've made it through only one British Territory out of eleven discussed in the book. And the writing style is getting into my head, so you'll forgive any superfluous adjectives and wistful sentences that pad my post.

Deciding that I needed a break and would really prefer not to have to sit in the lobby to access the internet, I headed for the front desk and told them again that my hardline connection was not working in my room (wireless is only available in the lobby). It seems the fact that the brand new cable they gave me yesterday didn't work never resulted in a maintenance request and, oh, look, the guy who would fix it already left and won't be back until Monday. Ummm... I used my best patience and kept my voice at a low tremble (as opposed to the loud bark that's come out of my mouth much too often lately) when insisting that I had reported the problem and the failure of all attempts to address it short of calling maintenance the day before. Yesterday, they were too booked to give me a new room. But today, they had a room down the hall on the same floor. And then, randomly, as one person was getting me new room keys, another was grabbing a goody bag for me. A bottle of water. A can of Sprite that had obviously been stored in a hot place at some point in its life. A bag of jalapeño chips. Microwave popcorn. Some Nabisco products with absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. And a handful of chocolate coins. The "sorry for the inconvenience" chocolates were added on top by the woman getting my key.
And I just got a call offering me a free movie. Should I ask them to tap the bulge out of the bottom of my Sprite can? It looks a bit precarious sitting on the desk like that.

So, obviously, I'm procrastinating at this point. Taking pictures of tilting Sprite cans can't be a good sign. I don't really look forward to wasting a weekend in Houston on homework. I still hope to bust out at least half of both reports tonight (since when does anyone actually read a book when doing a book report anyway...), sleep in tomorrow, and catch some sights. There's a certain movie coming out this weekend, but tickets are probably sold out from here to eternity. I might hold off on watching it until next... next w... next we- no, no! I'll have to avoid the internets for a week if I do that! Spoilers everywhere!

But if I go see it, I'll want to stop by the Lego store to pick up the Tumbler, which is the only one of the more recent sets I don't have yet. And then I won't have room for real souvenirs.

(But ticket prices are probably way cheaper here than in D.C.)

But I've never been to Texas. I need to get out.

(The sun does eventually set. Not as much to see in the dark.)

Yes, and that's when homework is best done. When I'm busy having insomnia.

(Batman.)

But...

(Versus Zombie Joker)

Perhaps the parenthetical voice and I need to have another chat.

(You're a freak. Just like me!)

I think we're done here.

Quote of the Day - July 18, 2008

2008-07-18T18:33:00.003-04:00

sorry for the inconvenience premium milk chocolate

- label on a piece of chocolate from the hotel

Quote of the Day - July 17, 2008

2008-07-17T18:38:00.000-04:00

Houston, we have a problem.

- Jim Lovell, Apollo 13, simplified from the original exchange

Quote of the Day - July 16, 2008

2008-07-16T01:42:00.001-04:00

Look, I'm just trying to change the world, okay? I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.

- Dr. Horrible, Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog, Act I

Dr. Horrible: The Musical

2008-07-15T21:58:00.003-04:00

Joss Whedon is... well, I believe there's a t-shirt for that. Anywhoo, way back in the days of season ~~sux~~ six of Buffy, he did a musical episode in which all of the characters sang about their innermost feelings. And random extras sang about their dry cleaning. Anyway, Joss apparently got bored during the writer's strike a few months back and hatched an evil scheme. He decided to do a supervillain musical and release it as an internet miniseries (for free until July 20, then you must pay. PAY! How evil!). It's absolutely silly and looks like the kind of thing you would throw together with your friends over holiday break. And that's kind of exactly what it is.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog stars Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Horrible, a would-be supervillain who's perhaps a bit too nice to really be in this line of work (he scolds a would-be opponent for challenging him to a fight near a park with children in it). He has a crush on Penny (Felicia Day), the do-gooder girl from the laundromat. And Captain Hammer (played with maximum camp factor by Nathan Fillion) is his arch nemesis.

And you better believe Joss's rabid fans crashed the server on day 1. Bwahahaha! (I'm still working on my evil laugh - it's all about standards)

Quote of the Day - July 15, 2008

2008-07-15T21:35:00.003-04:00

It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.

- Captain Hammer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog, Act I

Quote of the Day - July 12, 2008

2008-07-12T21:54:00.002-04:00

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler...

- Milton, Office Space

Quote of the Day - July 11, 2008

2008-07-11T02:40:00.001-04:00

Good morning from Taipei.

- Today's XKCD

Dance Your Cares Away

2008-07-11T00:29:00.003-04:00

Some people travel the world and take pictures of a lawn gnome next to famous landmarks. Others travel the world and share the basic joy of dancing like a fool.

The outtakes and his three-part lecture about his travels (which falls between this video and a similar video that he did previously) are also pretty good. I think this guy would get along famously with the professor of the class I'm taking this semester.

Quote of the Day - July 9, 2008

2008-07-09T01:48:00.001-04:00

Dreams, ideas, and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on.

-unknown

Quote of the Day - July 8, 2008

2008-07-08T23:26:00.002-04:00

I love his boyish charm, but I hate his childishness.

- Leela, Futurama, "Time Keeps on Slipping"

How Not to Get Ripped Off at the Repair Shop

2008-07-08T23:04:00.003-04:00

The first few times I went to the dealer to get maintanance done on my car, they tried to convince me to do more than was really necessary. They never said my car was broken when it wasn't, but they did try to get me to change things (like spark plugs) that were no where near in need of attention. The last couple of times, though, I've forgotten to take my textbooks out of my car and left them on the front passenger's seat. It's a bit more subtle than handing them my business card to say "hey, engineer!", but it does make them think twice. If I ever go in for non-routine stuff, I'll have to remember this trick in addition to prepping by using my OBD II diagnostic computer. Hehe.

How Did We Not Know About This?

2008-07-05T18:11:00.002-04:00

So, my cousins and I went to Georgetown yesterday before going down to the Mall to see the fireworks. We had about an hour until a movie we were going to see was supposed to start, so I suggested going across the street to look at some buildings we hadn't really seen before. It was toward the river, so I figured we could at least walk along the water if there was nothing else to see.

This is what we found:

A ring of bars and restaurants with outdoor dining all along the waterfront with this beautiful fountain surrounded by flowers. How on earth did we not know this was there? I mean, it looks relatively new, but it's kind of off the main line through Georgetown. The level of activity on the side streets gave no indication that something like this had materialized right across the street from the theater (which is also a little off the beaten path, but we've been there several times). The heck? I didn't know we had a pool!

Quote of the Day - July 1, 2008

2008-07-01T20:12:00.002-04:00

How did you manage that?

- a coworker, after another coworker announced that his wife was pregnant

Johnny 5 is... WALL-E

2008-06-29T12:25:00.004-04:00

Pixar continues to impress me. It's apparent that Disney has yet to crush the love of creativity and a genuine interest in the source material from it's adopted child. Pixar's latest endeavor is WALL-E, the story of a lonely robot who looks an awful lot like Number 5 aka Johnny 5 from the Short Circuit movies. He falls in love with EVE, a heavily armed and highly resourceful probe who comes to Earth in search of life. Why a probe sent to search for and return evidence of life is so heavily armed, I don't know, but I recommend not asking. You might make her angry.

Pixar's shorts have always had the capacity to entertain with no dialog (and the short attached to this film about a magician and his rabbit is no different), but this movie takes it even further. Like Boo from Monster's Inc, our protagonists have an extremely limited vocabulary. So all character development must come in the form of character interaction with the environment. There is dialog - exposition comes from various ads that still play to an abandoned planet and the humans WALL-E eventually encounters do speak. But the truly heartwarming and hilarious moments require no words. In fact, I almost wish they could have figured out a way to make the entire movie more silent film and less, well, Disney moralizing. There are so many ways to look at this movie, that I feel like I need several reviews. So here goes:

Romantic comedy: Clumsy, lonely boy who loves show-tunes falls for sleak, sexy career girl armed with a plasma cannon. You will say "aw" almost as many times as you laugh. 3% tears by volume. Sweet without being utterly saccharin. A.

Action/adventure: Despite the robot armed with a plasma cannon, there isn't a whole lot of action. There's certainly no chase scene that lives up to the doors in Monster's Inc, and the "villain" just isn't threatening enough to build all that much suspense. B-

Comedy: Per usual, Pixar keeps you pretty entertained throughout the film with plenty of visual gags to make up for lack of talking. I have to wonder if the robot MO was inspired by Monk, the three stooges, or both. There is an absolutely hilarious scene when WALL-E first arrives on the Axiom... well, spoilers. Whatever. A.

Animation: Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. The dance outside the Axiom alone deserves an Oscar. A++

Overall: Let's see, how many people do I know and how many of them will I see between now and when Dark Knight comes out? If I watch it once with each of them... A.

Quote of the Day - June 28, 2008

2008-06-28T23:43:00.002-04:00

I'm happy to grow up. But I won't pretend fun things aren't still fun out of fear of looking silly.

- XKCD #219

Human Intellect vs the Proximity of a Cat

2008-06-28T01:28:00.001-04:00

You know, I never really thought of it like this, but it's so true! Roll over the original here and you'll see the person also says "Yes you are! And you're sitting there! Hi, kitty!"

Panic Like a Trapped Chipmunk

2008-06-24T17:44:00.005-04:00

I was headed outside today at work when I spotted a chipmunk trapped in the airlock. (No, not that kind of airlock.) He was totally freaking out, running up walls and trying his darndest to get away from me and get out. Unfortunately, "away from me" was his top priority, so the fact that I was holding the door open to the outside made him somewhat disinterested in that exit. Having grown up with indoor/outdoor cats who were free to roam in and out of their own door (and bring friends in with them), I have plenty of experience dealing with panicked critters in confined spaces. I almost screwed up, however, when I pressed the handicap button to hold the door open while I swung around and chased the chipmunk outside. That particular button opens both the inner and outer door at the same time(defeating the purpose of the airlock, if you ask me). The inner door opened toward him, thankfully, and I discouraged him from scampering around the door and into the building by running into the doorway. Now that I was no longer standing between him and freedom, he quickly found the true exit and ran into the grass by the sidewalk.

Like, Everything is Connected, Man

2008-06-23T22:25:00.003-04:00

This semester, I am taking a class called Modern Navigation Systems, but the class might as well be called Connections. In my experience, most engineering professors are very focused on their specialty. This professor, on the other hand, believes in knowing not just the subject at hand, but the why's and how's of how these things came to be. And the consequences of things being that way. He spends about ten percent of his lecture on navigation and the rest of the lecture jumping from subject to subject, spilling forth random bits of information on everything from the woman Isaac Newton had a crush on to how an MRI works. The stories jump around, somehow relating to one another and ultimately leading to "so the point is...", at which point he'll tell you how this was all somehow related to navigation, or at the very least relevant to our lives.

Since this is a navigation class, tonight I decided I would draw a map. It would not be a map of a physical location, but a map of the paths his lecture would take. My classmate thought I might be drawing a picture of a constellation, but she laughed when I told her what I was actually doing. Each point represented a subject. With each change of subject, I drew a line ending in another point. If he went back to a subject he had mention previously, I'd draw a line from the current point to a pre-existing point. I didn't quite get the hang of it until the end, but I still ended up with quite the sketch. Some things that came up tonight: the Washington Post, the Olympic trials, "This Old House", the guy who played Tarzan, Lords of War starring Nicholas Cage, the Tony awards, South Pacific, Caravans, Afghanistan, the Hollywood sign, Hollywood and Vine, Grauman's Chinese Theatre, the Walk of Fame, The Wizard of Oz, Gone with the Wind, the New Jersey State Prison, A Streetcar Named Desire, the Simpsons, Curious George, Yellowstone National Park, snowmobiles, and who knows what else.

For Wednesday's lecture, I think I'll label each dot and make a dot darker each time he touches on that subject. Perhaps I can turn it in as part of a class project. Or not.

Quote of the Day - June 23, 2008

2008-06-23T17:50:00.001-04:00

I can't stand this indecision, married with a lack of vision.

- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears

The Pessimist's Mug

2008-06-20T22:13:00.002-04:00

How do you know the glass is half empty? Because it says so.

Quote of the Day - June 18, 2008

2008-06-18T23:07:00.001-04:00

Expires: 6/31/08

- expiration date on a coupon

Quote of the Day - June 9, 2008

2008-06-09T23:18:00.001-04:00

Linda: I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Morbo: WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!

- Futurama, "Crimes of the Hot"

Quote of the Day - June 8, 2008

2008-06-08T20:52:00.003-04:00

Which school?

- a server to the wedding party when they came in to a cafe in full wedding attire (minus the bride and groom)

And where were you at 1:23:45 pm ?

2008-06-07T20:24:00.005-04:00

Congratulations to Walt and Kate, who got married today. Who knew waiting for the Orange Line at Metro Center could lead to this? It must be fate.

Quote of the Day - June 6, 2008

2008-06-06T20:21:00.000-04:00

If you were an Apple product, you would be the iFail.

- the Best Man to one of the groomsmen at a wedding rehearsal dinner

Quote of the Day - June 1, 2008

2008-06-01T22:12:00.001-04:00

G'Kar: Do you want to be President?

John Sheridan: Yes.

G'Kar: Put your hand on the book and say "I do."

Sheridan: I do.

G'Kar: Good. Done. Let's eat.

- Babylon 5, "No Compromises"

From Sweeney Todd to Christian Rock?

2008-05-15T23:04:00.004-04:00

I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I managed to get from watching Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street to listening to Christian rock on YouTube.

Yesterday, I actually got home from work with plenty of daylight to spare, so I decided to see if I could figure out how to get to Blockbuster on foot without using the busy street I usually use to drive there. I succeeded without getting lost at all and, once there, saw that Sweeney Todd was available for rent. My coworker who generally has to look away when gore is on the screen liked it so much see saw it twice in theatres, so I decided it was at least worth a rental. I watched it (it was okay, but I couldn’t understand some of the lyrics. Maybe I need better speakers. Also, I couldn’t help but think that it reminded me of Shakespearean tragedy – mistaken identity, lots of coincidences, dark humor, betrayal, revenge, murder, and *spoiler* everybody dies (well, not everybody, but it was very Hamlet).

Most of the songs weren’t all that memorable for me, but one stood out and was in my head on the way home from work – "Not While I’m Around" (that kid steals the show, by the way. He’s the only source of positive energy in the entire film, which is what makes the song that much more heartbreaking, particularly in context). As I pulled in to my garage, a new song popped into my head. A song I was writing. And let me tell you, I miss the days when creative thoughts would just pop into my head like that. I haven’t had the mental energy lately to nurture that side of me. So I kept singing, quietly, trying to keep it in my head until I could write down the words and record the sound of it. Since I don’t read or write music, I had to record me singing it (softly, so the neighbors won’t hear). I have a microphone, but it’s ancient. I have to crank up the volume much too far to hear what I’ve recorded.

I managed to get the gist of the sound recorded and half the lyrics written before I hit a lull and went to surf the internet while waiting for the next wave of inspiration. I ended up looking for an AMV (animated music video) tribute to Toph that I saw months ago (I was looking for this specific version, because it uses dialogue from the show itself very effectively rather than just overlaying music on top of clips. I got chills). In the process, I ended up watching several AMV’s, only to realize the same group – Superchick – had done several of the songs, including the song for the video I was looking for. It was all girl power stuff, but in the “life’s tough but I ain’t weak” kind of way rather than the “boys suck” kind of way. One Girl Revolution could be a secondary theme song for Avatar. (Seriously, Mattel, you’re missing a market here).

Anyway, turns out that Superchick is a Christian rock band. I’ve never really been able to get into Christian rock. But these guys are pretty good. Yes, there are guys in the band, too.

Oh, and the song I'm writing? Almost done.

Quote of the Day - May 13, 2008

2008-05-13T00:39:00.001-04:00

I could die and go to heaven right now!

- Stephen Colbert, when astronaut Steve Garrett took off his WristStrong bracelet and spun it in mid-air to prove he was in space

Quote of the Day bonus link and screen shot:

Quote of the Day - May 12, 2008

2008-05-12T21:19:00.000-04:00

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.

-
Marion C. Garretty

Well, At Least They Didn't Burn Him at the Stake

2008-05-09T01:25:00.003-04:00

Please tell me this one is a joke. That somehow an Onion article oozed into the main stream media. A substitute teacher performs a magic trick in class by making a toothpick disappear... and gets fired after being accused of wizardry. *shakes head* We're doomed.

Quote of the Day - May 7, 2008

2008-05-07T21:44:00.000-04:00

Teacher: Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam.

Fry: Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this?

Teacher: Ancient Egyptian algebra.

- "A Fish Full of Dollars", Futurama

Quote of the Day - May 6, 2008

2008-05-06T21:24:00.003-04:00

Cake or death?

- Eddie Izzard

live or Lego form

Quote of the Day - May 3, 2008

2008-05-03T23:20:00.001-04:00

Trivial Pursuit Question: What former New York socialite began a 28th year in a vegetative coma in 2007?

Player answer: Paris Hilton

Quote of the Day - April 30, 2008

2008-04-30T23:19:00.001-04:00

In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.

- Lee Iacocca

Quote of the Day - April 27, 2008

2008-04-27T13:07:00.001-04:00

Zuko: You’re going to fail a lot before things work out.
Sokka: That’s suppose to make me feel better?
Zuko: Even though you’ll probably fail over and over and over again…
Sokka: Seriously, not helping.
Zuko: You have to try every time. You can’t quit because you’re afraid you might fail.

- Avatar: The Last Airbender, "Boiling Rock, Part 2"

Quote of the Day - April 26, 2008

2008-04-26T23:31:00.001-04:00

Londa: You know, Vir, you have what the earthers call a negative personality.
Vir: No, I don't.
Londo: There. You see?

- Babylon 5, "Knives"

Quote of the Day - April 25, 2008

2008-04-25T23:42:00.001-04:00

Sheridan: Are you trying to cheer me up?
Ivanova: No, sir. Wouldn't dream of it.
Sheridan: Good. I hate being cheered up. It's depressing.
Ivanova: Well, in that case, we all are going to die horrible, painful, bleeding deaths.
Sheridan: Thank you, I feel so much better now.

- Babylon 5, "Matters of Honor"

Quote of the Day - April 19, 2008

2008-04-19T23:40:00.002-04:00

I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

- Challenges de-motivator

Haiku of the Day - April 15, 2008

2008-04-15T17:06:00.003-04:00

All mail has vanished.
The last year did not happen,
Consumed by ether.

Quote of the Day - April 12, 2008

2008-04-12T22:36:00.001-04:00

Please don't tell me to relax - it's only my tension that's holding me together.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

Quote of the Day - April 7, 2008

2008-04-07T22:32:00.001-04:00

I'm afraid you're both out of your league, boys, because you're looking at a woman who owns her own harpoon.

- Leela, Futurama, "The Deep South"

Quote of the Day - April 4, 2008

2008-04-04T20:29:00.002-04:00

Me: Good morrow!
Co-worker: What?
Me: Good morrow.
Co-worker: What?
Me: Good... morrow...
Co-worker: *continued befuddlement*
Me: Morrow means morning.
Co-worker: You talk funny.

Quote of the Day, April 3, 2008

2008-04-03T19:29:00.000-04:00

Oh, Benson... Dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.

- Evil, Time Bandits

You Mean You Can Have a Party Without Booze?

2008-03-29T09:23:00.002-04:00

Apparently, a kid in Wisconsin held a party with all the trappings of a drinking party (complete with keg and drinking games) but without the alcohol. All of the participants were under age, so when the cops came after neighbors complained about cars blocking the road, they started doing breathalyser tests. According to the article, "Nearly 90 breath tests were done, and officers even searched locked rooms for hiding teens." 90? Really? You'd think that after the first 20 or so, they would have realized that maybe, possibly, no alcohol was being served. How about sampling the contents of the keg? What was going through their minds as each test came back negative? "Another one? Unbelievable. These are teenagers! At a party! Surely some of them have been drinking! We must find them, no matter the cost!"

The good news is, the cops helped the organizer of the party prove his point - red cups and teen parties do not necessarily equal underage drinking.

Quote of the Day - March 28, 2008

2008-03-28T19:20:00.000-04:00

I have a question, and the question is...

I'm in ur timelines killing ur Hitlers

2008-03-27T01:02:00.003-04:00

What if history were like a Wiki in that anyone could change it? Wikihistory has the answer. It's not an actual history Wiki. It's a time travel story. In fictional forum posting form.

LEGO Futurama

2008-03-24T21:20:00.002-04:00

Okay, whoever did this needs to go to Lego's Factory and upload their design, like, NOW! I mean, they even have Hypnotoad! How can you say no to the Hynotoad?

*monotone* You can not. All glory to the Hypnotoad. /*monotone*

But Where Do Fairies Fit In?

2008-03-13T02:13:00.006-04:00

One of my coworkers apparently has a family tradition of setting leprechaun traps for St. Patrick's day (he has young kids). Every year, they set a trap with green items as bait. Every year, the trap is sprung. The leprechauns always get away, but they do leave candy behind. Obviously, this makes the idea even more appealing to the kids.

Between this, the lab gnomes that supposedly pop out of the floor every time you need something (every lab comes with at least one), the elves that drank and then replaced another coworker's soda (with a thank-you note attached), the gremlins that keep causing trouble, and the brownies that come in late at night to thwart the gremlins, my life is apparently inhabited by a myriad of mythical creatures.

Haiku of the Day - March 2, 2008

2008-03-02T03:57:00.003-05:00

Days blur together
Dusk and dawn serve no purpose
When lacking windows.

Quote of the Day - February 25, 2008

2008-02-25T12:44:00.001-05:00

Victory is mine!

- Stewie, Family Guy

We Apologize For the Delay

2008-02-21T16:29:00.002-05:00

I'm currently on hold with Wachovia. 10 minutes and counting. Every minute, a woman's voice comes on the line and gives one of 5 different apologies. My favourite is "We apologize for the unusual delay." As if being on hold for more than 5 minutes is unusual. Verizon dropped my first freakin' call, just as I was being transfered to someone who could do what I needed. The first wait was about 20 minutes. The woman who apologizes makes me think of Joo Dee. It's kind of creepy. "Hello. I am Joo Dee. I will be your host while you are listening to Muzak over a choppy connection."

Okay, only 15 minutes this time. "Believe-it-or-not." Nope. Never heard that one.

I've spent a fair amount of time on the phone with customer service over the last couple of days. I took off work to do all the little things that I haven't been able to do for months like, you know, stock up on tissues and toilet paper and ended up getting the flu (my apologies to everyone a WalMart, which is where I was when I decided that maybe I should stop at the Patient First across the street because me no feel too good), so I haven't gotten quite as much done as I wanted (oh, exclamation points of overdue-ness, will you ever stop haunting me?). Yesterday, I decided I was well enough to call Lego without screaming at them in frustration (calling customer service, which tends to frustrate anyway, is not a good idea when one is sick and tired). I bought their Mindstorms NXT about a month ago. The intelligent brick, um, wasn't. I tried to return it, but the store said I had to contact technical support (No returns!). Their phone tech support is only available 8am to 8pm Monday thru Friday. Fat lot of good that does me with the hours I've been working. I tried e-mail, but when the steps they gave me failed they said... call tech support to get a new one. Grrr. I did. They sent me the same steps they sent me a month ago. THEN they finally agreed the intelligent brick was missing a few IQ points and should, indeed, be replaced. It will take 3 weeks because Denmark is apparently very far away. Good. Maybe by then I'll have time to play with it again.

I am very tempted to bring an ESD strap home from work and use it in my apartment. The static electricity in here is getting ridiculous.

Can you tell that I'm tired of being at home and being unproductive?

Obama the Builder

2008-02-13T04:55:00.003-05:00

A common refrain in Barack Obama's speeches and among his supporters is the phrase "Yes we can!" My time spent working in a children's nursery has forever linked that phrase to a certain Nick Jr. character. So inside my head, Obama's theme song is:

Barack! Obama...
Can we do it?
Barack! Obama...
Yes we can!

It seems oddly appropriate.

(Of course I have in depth things to say about the current election season, I just don't have the time or energy to write it down and organize it right now. So this is my contribution to the political dialog. Well, he is popular among the preschool set. Maybe he can run some campaign adds on Nickelodeon.)

You Know It's Bad When...

2008-02-11T23:41:00.001-05:00

...your friend who just spent a week in a mock P.O.W. camp for his National Guard training looks at you and says, "Are you okay? You seem tired?"

Quote of the Day - February 2, 2008

2008-02-02T19:30:00.000-05:00

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!

- Phil, Groundhog Day

Quote of the Day - January 31, 2008

2008-01-31T21:32:00.000-05:00

A technical representative from the company that manufactured our flight boards: So, where are you guys shipping this off to?

Me: Space.

Happy Lego-versary

2008-01-30T00:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm, um, 35 hours late, but Lego celebrated the 50th anniversary of the patent for the classic LEGO brick on Monday. Even Google celebrated with a LEGO-style Google logo. Now, if only I could find time to play with my LEGOs in celebration.